Monday

Monday is the best day – since my retirement. For 53 years I hated Mondays, back to work facing a gloomy week ahead. Mondays took away the pleasure of Sundays knowing that the alarm clock would once again call you the next morning to get up and begin a workweek. But with retirement Monday is wonderful. I sit on the front porch with the second cup of coffee and watch the garbage and trash collectors.

These collectors are very efficient worker bees. First, the recycle collector comes into the neighborhood, picking up the blue containers and sorting the paper, plastic, and cans into the bins on the truck. Then with a quick toss of the container to the curb the truck moves on to the next stop. Next are the garbage collectors; they jump off the truck and attach the cans to the truck lift, which raises the can and dumps the garbage into the truck. The trash collectors arrive later in a truck with a long mechanical arm that comes out to pick of the grass cuttings, tree limbs and mattresses or old furniture. From personal experience, I know they will not pick up dead opossums; they place them back on the side of the road for burial by the homeowner.

Determined to find out more about garbage collection, I actually “googled – garbage,” and got results! Garbage is usually a bonus feature with any search but this time it yielded useful garbage. First and foremost was my social, political, ethnic blunder; it’s not garbage collection anymore; it’s Environmental Services. And there are rules for collectors and collectees. If you need to know what is acceptable or unacceptable, the information is on the city website. The city will accept putrescible animal and vegetable waste resulting from food preparation and waste generally from food for human consumption and non-putrescible waste matter, such as glass, plastic, paper, cartons, boxes, and cardboard. But they will not accept automotive parts, bricks, concrete, and other construction items. This morning I did not notice any inspection of the garbage contents, just a lift and a dump.

The “environmental service can” (which is a cart, not a can) may not be kept in the front yard at any time in an Historic District but should be placed on the curb before the collection time according to the schedule. Also, the cart must be removed from the curb by 8:00 am the following day, or else what? – I don’t know. If something catastrophic happens to your “cart,” simply call 311 and place an SRO (Service Request Order) and request a repair, which could take 30 days but is usually done within 2 weeks. There is no charge if certain conditions are met but whatever those conditions may be is not disclosed.

When my nephew was a small child, his only ambition was to be a garbage collector, mainly because he thought riding on the side of a truck would be the best job ever and they only work one day of the week. I have a lot of respect for the Environmental Service employees; they are hard workers and I thank them for their diligence. These guys even have time to wave at you as they pass by. Monday morning is a spectacular show and no ticket is required, other than the $19.95 monthly collection fee on the water bill. Well worth the price.